C HUMOR

Nearly every software professional has heard the term spaghetti code as a pejorative description for complicated, difficult to understand, and impossible to maintain, software. However, many people may not know the other two elements of the complete Pasta Theory of Software.

Lasagna code is used to describe software that has a simple, understandable, and layered structure. Lasagna code, although structured, is unfortunately monolithic and not easy to modify. An attempt to change one layer conceptually simple, is often very difficult in actual practice.

The ideal software structure is one having components that are small and loosely coupled; this ideal structure is called ravioli code. In ravioli code, each of the components, or objects, is a package containing some meat or other nourishment for the system; any component can be modified or replaced without significantly affecting other components.

C variable names:

auto accident;
register voters;
static electricity;
struct by_lightning;
void *where_prohibited;
char broiled;
short circuit;
short changed;
long johns;
unsigned long letter;
double entendre;
double trouble;
union organizer;
union jack;
float valve;
short pants;
union station;
void check; unsigned check;
struct dumb by[sizeof member];
const ipated;
case closed:
double or_nothing;
short sighted;
void if_removed;
volatile buggy_code;
unsigned anonymous;
int erbreed;
huge penis;
interrupt ed;
near sighted;
far out;

men() {
   goto pub;
pub:
   return drunk;
}
women() {
   goto bathroom;
bathroom:
   while (1);
}

How the way people code "Hello World" varies depending on their age and job:

High School/Jr.High
10 PRINT "HELLO WORLD"
20 END

First year in College
program Hello(input, output)
begin
writeln('Hello World')
end.

Senior year in College
(defun hello
(print
(cons 'Hello (list 'World))))

New professional
#include <stdio.h>
void main(void)
{
char *message[] = {"Hello ", "World"};
int i;
for(i = 0; i < 2; ++i)
printf("%s", message[i]);
printf("\n");
}

Seasoned professional
#include <iostream.h>
#include <string.h>
class string
{
private:
   int size;
   char *ptr;
public:
   string() : size(0), ptr(new char('\0')) {}
   string(const string &s) : size(s.size)
   {
     ptr = new char[size + 1];
     strcpy(ptr, s.ptr);
   }
   ~string()
   {
     delete [] ptr;
   }
   friend ostream &operator <<(ostream &, const string &);
   string &operator=(const char *);
};

ostream &operator<<(ostream &stream, const string &s)
{
   return(stream << s.ptr);
}
string &string::operator=(const char *chrs)
{
   if (this != &chrs)
   {
     delete [] ptr;
     size = strlen(chrs);
     ptr = new char[size + 1];
     strcpy(ptr, chrs);
   }
   return(*this);
}
int main()
{
   string str;
   str = "Hello World";
   cout << str << endl;
   return(0);
}

System Administrator
#include <stdio.h>
#include <stdlib.h>
main()
{
char *tmp;
int i=0;
/* on y va bourin */
tmp=(char *)malloc(1024*sizeof(char));
while (tmp[i]="Hello Wolrd"[i++]);
/* Ooopps y'a une infusion ! */
i=(int)tmp[8];
tmp[8]=tmp[9];
tmp[9]=(char)i;
printf("%s\n",tmp);
}

Apprentice Hacker
#!/usr/local/bin/perl
$msg="Hello, world.\n";
if ($#ARGV >= 0) {
     while(defined($arg=shift(@ARGV))) {
         $outfilename = $arg;
         open(FILE, ">" . $outfilename) || die "Can't write $arg: $!\n";
         print (FILE $msg);
         close(FILE) || die "Can't close $arg: $!\n";
     }
} else {
     print ($msg);
}
1;

Experienced Hacker
#include <stdio.h>
#include <string.h>
#define S "Hello, World\n"
main(){exit(printf(S) == strlen(S) ? 0 : 1);}

Seasoned Hacker
% cc -o a.out ~/src/misc/hw/hw.c
% a.out
Hello, world.

Guru Hacker
% cat
Hello, world.
New Manager
10 PRINT "HELLO WORLD"
20 END

Middle Manager
mail -s "Hello, world." bob@b12
Bob, could you please write me a program that prints "Hello, world."?
I need it by tomorrow.
^D

Senior Manager
% zmail jim
I need a "Hello, world." program by this afternoon.

Chief Executive
% letter
letter: Command not found.
% mail
To: ^X ^F ^C
% help mail
help: Command not found.
% damn!
!: Event unrecognized
% logout

Research Scientist
        PROGRAM HELLO
        PRINT *, 'Hello World'
        END

Older research Scientist
        WRITE (6, 100)
    100 FORMAT (1H ,11HHELLO WORLD)
        CALL EXIT
        END